Good night, Vina

I just watched 괜찮아, 사랑이야. Psychiatry is very new world for me, but so interesting. I learned that trauma can stay in a person with some forms. Now I don’t want to say “that person is crazy” again. Because we are indeed human who always getting hurt and make someone else hurt, and we all are sometimes crazy, with different acts, with different craziness levels. This drama made me realized that when people were faking themselves to be strong person, they are indeed getting weaker. To be strong is realizing that we feel pain, we need others, thats nothing wrong with expressing sadness.
By the way, this drama is about a writer and radio dj with trauma from domestic abuse when he was child. He then met a psychiatrist and developing romantic relationship. My favorite quote is in final episode:
[The protagonist, Jang Jae Yeol, came as a guest in radio show that he used to be in as a dj]

Many people probably already know I am currently battling schizophrenia. Doctors say that 1 out of 100 people have this common illness and rather than it being an incurable disease, it is possible to return to normal life. I trust their words and I’m planning on trying my best. What I can do for those whom I love is never losing hope no matter what. For today’s good night words, instead of directing them to you (listener), I would like to dedicate them to myself instead. Up until now, I’ve always only asked how others feel and have said numerous goodbyes to them, but for myself, I haven’t once done the same for myself. Tonight, I also suggest you (not to ask others but) to ask yourself, “Are you really okay?” Check on yourself like this and do a warm “good night” to yourself. I wish you’d all do this. So, tonight as well; Good night, Jang Jae Yeol.

This scene really made me cry and asked my self if I was really alright. And the proposal scene was also interesting. The protagonist proposed his psychiatrist girlfriend so bluntly and frequently though he was rejected continuously. When the girlfriend asked him why he wanted to marry her, his answer is:

I sleep in a bathtub, not a bed, and my mom sleeps in a cold open windowed living room all year. And about my brother staying in jail for 14 years, I don’t have the courage to tell all this to any other woman except you. Even after hearing and seeing all that about me, do you think think there’s another woman out there who can calmly just listen to all that, like you? I don’t think there are any out there. Hae Soo, if there’s another woman like that, please tell me.

And the conversation after that was so touching:

Woman: Jang Jae Yeol. If I say I won’t get married to you, will you not date me?

Man: No

Woman: You’ll date me?

Man: Yeah

Woman: And you won’t meet any other women too?

Man: Other women are boring. And I’m not interested either.

Woman: And you won’t get annoyed when I don’t listen to you?

Man: No

Woman: Why?

Man: Because I love you.

I know I am not alright now, but I am so thankful for my life. Despite of all of burdens I have, I still need a rest, so “good night, Vina, youre doing well”.

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