I was so nervous
I was so stupid
I was so careless
I was so rash
I was so annoyed with my self
I was so wrong
and I held back my tears so hardly

Until today I’ve been so down

Yesterday, a friend chatted on WA group and I was so surprised…

“temen labku dimarahi sensei waktu seminar, abis seminar dy pulang. looks like he’s crying”
kenapa dimarahi?
“yg kutangkep, intinya: `masa hal kayak gini d presentasikan di meeting, ditanya ini ga bisa jawab, ditanya itu ga bisa jawab` tp si bocahnya emang salah sih”

Wow, so similar with my experience last thursday.
Than I asked my friend “How are that friend doing now? Is he alright now?”

“abis dimarahi dia keluar
sorenya uda balik lagi
looks okay
move on
nangis terus move on”


Maybe I should do that too. Instead holding back tears and pretending to be okay, pretending to be strong… maybe all I have to do now is crying.
Sometimes, crying is the best thing to do, instead of running away.
Crying then moving on… I made mistake, and continuing making mistakes when I run away…

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